This Is Us... BPC

This morning, as I drink my NECESSARY bullet-proof coffee, I sit and reflect on my almost 14 month keto journey.  Last night was the season premiere of my absolute favorite tv drama, This Is Us.  I think for many of us, we felt connected to this show instantly.  It's just good tv.  For me, I felt connected to Kate from season 1, episode 1.  Kate is an emotional/stress eater who finds comfort in food.  I did.  She's absolutely stunningly beautiful.  I can own my own personal beauty.  Kate is smart, kind, and wounded.  She's not a victim, but she's been wounded.  I can also relate to those feelings, as I think most of us can.  I related to her diet and exercise successes and failures.

As I watched last night (*spoiler alert), I watched Kate struggle to conceive because of weight-related P.C.O.S.  Now here's the thing about P.C.O.S.  It's exacerbated by weight, particularly sugar/carb consumption, because sugar feeds cysts.   I have one child.  He's awesome, and enough, but if I were to ever be married, I'd be open to having more.  I love kids, and think I'm a pretty good mom.  With all of that said, I struggle to relate to Kate now.  She wants to have a child with the love of her life, but isn't really willing to make the lifestyle change necessary to make it happen.  Toby (her husband) flushes his anti-depressants because they are decreasing his count to make this happen for the woman he loves so much, and yet she is still so entrenched in her obsession with food, and unwillingness to exercise.  I am so frustrated with her right now, but am trying to remind myself that everyone has to want to become healthy on their own timetable.  I'm positive there were a lot of people that looked at me with similar frustrations (I was one of them), and I'm so glad to be past that now!  I'm frustrated with her, because I know there can be a better life for her, and I so desperately want to help her!  Ok, ok, I know, Kate is fictional so I can't help her, but I can help others, and I hope that I am by sharing my own personal journey!   

Here's what the Keto Lyfe has given me.  It's stripped my guilt away with eating.  I eat to nourish my body now, not to manage stress or emotion.  It has changed my relationship with food, and with myself.  I don't hide anymore.  I eat what I eat, loud and proud, because I never cheat.  Not once in almost 14 months.  The food I consume puts me closer to my goal, and that is an amazing peace of mind that I hope others with similar struggles will come to know.